


Who's Flying The Plane?

by That_chump



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Awkwardness, Body Swap, Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Inappropriate Themes, Introspection, Mutual Pining, Romantic Comedy, Shenanigans, Swearing, actually, and youre me, but that comes with the territory of a body swap lol, if im you, rating subject to change in the future, this is straight up some romcom nonsense, type beat, whos flying the plane?, you cant be me im me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:14:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29326074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_chump/pseuds/That_chump
Summary: When you woke up at fuck o’clock on a Sunday morning, you cursed yourself for setting an alarm so early on the weekend. Afterwards, you came to realize a few important things: 1. You didn’t set the alarm. 2. Hajime set the alarm. 3. You were in Hajime’s room. 4. Why? 5. Because you ARE Hajime.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader
Comments: 13
Kudos: 66





	1. Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> I’m taking forever on this Akaashi fic so I decided to throw this series out here, I hope you enjoy!🥺 Body swap is a trope I find absolutely chaotic and hilarious, so let’s get it!  
> Also, I cross posted this on tumblr. I'm at @hajimewhore if you're interested in my content!!

Releasing a deep sigh, you pull your warm comforter over your face to hide the light peaking in from your blinds.

You’re almost positive you closed the blinds and pulled the curtain over the prior night, but the thought doesn’t sit much longer as you’re lulled back into your slumber.

Hearing your alarm blare, a groan scratches at your throat as you smack your bedside desk, missing your phone entirely. Was your voice always this deep when you first wake up? You chalk it up to morning grogginess, deciding not to dwell on it any longer due to the obnoxious ringtone.

Also, did you even set an alarm? The thought sits at the back of your mind as you fiddle blindly for the sleep button.

It’s Sunday, why would you even set one so early? How did you fuck that up?

Sitting upright, you blink blearily. Something feels off.

This isn’t even your phone. These aren’t your covers either…

The Godzilla posters decorating the walls definitely aren’t yours, and this most certainly is _not_ your room.

_‘Hajime?’_

You think looking around. This is definitely Hajime’s room. You hadn’t been in it in awhile, but it’s unmistakable.

You wrack your brain for the missing details, unfortunately coming to no result or explanation.

Why are you in Hajime’s room?! You didn’t drink last night, so there’s no explanation for the missing details in your memory for how you wound up in his sheets. Also, he isn’t here currently.

What the hell?

Shoving the covers aside, you immediately notice your… significantly more masculine figure.

“What the fu— _AH!_ ”

Your surprisingly gruff voice startles you. Though, it’s not so much your voice, but _Hajime’s._

Stumbling out of bed, nearly tripping over your tired legs, you barrel into Hajime’s bathroom to check the mirror.

And despite all the clues handed to you, you’re still completely stunned to see who’s staring back at you in the mirror.

Your childhood best friend, Iwaizumi Hajime.

Cupping your hand over your mouth to stifle a scream, you pace back to the bedroom.

_‘It’s a dream haha. A hyper realistic, very detailed, dream.’_

You attempt to convince yourself as you slip back into the sheets, still warm, cursing your subconscious for forcing this abnormal dream onto your unwitting self.

Squeezing your eyes shut, twisting and turning, willing away your current situation, you realize… nothing is happening.

_‘God damnit.’_

You don’t know who’s fault this is, but it’s probably Tooru’s.

If you’re Hajime then, _yes_ you’re starting to accept this fucked up situation, that that must mean Hajime is…

Shooting back up to a sitting position, you curse at the ache in your abdominal region. Jesus, how hard did Hajime go at practice?

Also, you can’t believe you have _Hajime’s abs_ right now.

Throwing on a random t-shirt and pair of sweats, decidedly _not_ thinking about his abs, and how he was sleeping in briefs only, you jogs downstairs like a mad man.

Completely forgoing shoes, you cross the street and use the hidden key stuck in a potted plant to open the front door.

You’re positive by now your parents have left for work, and Tooru is more than likely sleeping in after staying up late last night (no doubt pouring over tournament videos), so there’s no chance for interruption from either party.

Not that your parents would question Hajime’s presence, but you really aren’t in the mood for doing small talk with your own parents while pretending to be Hajime.

You head straight up the stairs for your room, swinging the door wide open.

“That’s… me…. augh, this is so _weird!_ ”

You run a hand through your hair, almost startled by the different texture. This will definitely take some getting used to. 

…Also, was Hajime’s hair always this soft?

You physically dash that train of thought from your mind, shaking your head. You remind yourself of the task at hand and your current dilemma, crossing the threshold of your room.

You shuffle over to the bed, climbing on top of the covers.

If that’s Hajime, he’s no doubt gonna freak out over seeing himself wake himself up.

Well, you might as well have fun with it.

“Hajime!”

You shake… yourself, watching your eyes blink open.

“Wha—?”

The physical-You blinks awake, catching eyes with physical-Hajime.

_“What the f—”_

You cover presumably Hajime’s mouth (you’re mildly hoping there hasn’t been an awful three-way swap between you two and Tooru),

“Hajime! Confess to your sins!”

“I— What the fuck?! I haven’t done anything! You're— How are you me! I’m me! Why is my voice—”

Hajime is quite clearly panicking and word vomiting his stress. And while it was a little funny at first, you’re starting to feel a bit bad.

“Alright alright, before you go full panic, look in the mirror. I know this seems like bullshit, but it’s me!”

You lean back, gesturing to the mirror above the dresser.

Hajime’s eyes furrow, following your gesture before locking eyes with… Your eyes in the mirror.

But that’s definitely him moving like that, lifting his arms, tilting his head. Or rather, your arms, your head, _fuck_ , this is confusing.

“Why the fuck am I you?” after a momentary pause, “What did Oikawa do?” 

Hajime snarls, and it sounds odd coming from your tone.

“I was hoping you’d know the answer to that. I came here as soon as I woke up.”

“Well, this all better be a really fucked up, disgustingly realistic dream I’m having.”

Hajime sighs, rubbing his eyes.

“I really don’t think it is. I already went through that crisis.”

You pout, and Hajime raps you on the forehead.

“Don’t make faces like that with my face, you’re freaking me out!”

“Me? You have the biggest resting bitch face ever! It’s scary on me!”

His expression softens marginally, after a deep frown.

“Well… I guess we should figure out a way to fix this.”

“How’re we gonna do that!?”

You whine, and Hajime cringes at the way it sounded coming out of his mouth.

“No clue. In the mean time, we should try and keep this a secret and attend classes like normal. Also—”

He cuts himself, frowning deeply.

“What?”

“Shittykawa. Volleyball.”

“Aw fuck!”

You groan, falling back into your sheets at the foot of the bed.

“How are we gonna pull that off?!”

“Just talk to Oikawa like I would, and I’m sure I could… do the same.”

You somehow doubt that will work, and you can plainly see Hajime is going to have an issue conversing with Tooru in your mannerisms. Tooru has known the both of you longer than anyone else, and tends to be perceptive in _and_ out of volleyball. Regardless, you have no choice but to have faith in Hajime’s plan, even if it is lacking the finer details.

“As far as volleyball…?”

You tilt your head, chewing at your cheek at the thought of club activities in an entirely different body. Hajime rubs his hair, briefly startled by it being… not his hair.

You bring up very valid concerns. He’s the ace of his team, you’re a middle blocker for the women’s team. Neither of you are especially privy to your respective team’s plays or teammates.

“I’m sure we’ll catch on fast. We’ll just have to spend today teaching each other everything we need to know. At least we both know how to play, even if it’s different positions.”

He locks eyes with you slumped in the sheets, trying not to picture it as himself laying back in your bed. Realistically, it is him, but it isn’t his mind. But now is not the situation whatsoever to be thinking about the suggestiveness of that image, so he shakes the thoughts from his head.

“Mm, guess you’re right. As far as school goes, our class schedule is pretty similar, so we can just study together. How bout we get ready and practice volleyball at the park?”

The unspoken _‘before Tooru wakes up’_ hangs off your lips.

“Alright, I’ll get ready.”

He stands from the bed, before freezing and blushing heavily.

“ _Absolutely not!_ ”

You match his blush, sitting upright in a flash.

“I-I’ll help you get ready! Just keep your eyes closed!”

You cry out, and Hajime turns his nose with a heavy blush.

“Like I’d open them!”

“Better yet—“

You snatch your uniform tie from your bedside table, wrapping it around Hajime’s eyes.

After tying off the makeshift blindfold, you ponder what transgressions you must have committed in your past life to be here undressing yourself as Hajime.

“God, this is so weird.”

You whine, awkwardly tugging your, Hajime’s, clothes off.

“How do you think I feel?!”

He snaps, but there’s less venom in the tone due to the pitch of your voice. There is a classic Hajime ring to it though, and your mildly impressed he pulled that off with your natural voice.

You make quick work of dressing him in athletic wear, not wanting to suffer in the stifling awkwardness any longer than necessary.

He removes the tie from his eyes, averting his gaze with pink still dusting his features.

“…”

“What now?”

You’re worried to hear what he’s contemplating, and you certainly don’t like the sheepish, awkward expression stretching across his features.

“I really have to pee.”

“Haaaajiiimeee! Just hold it!”

You turn scarlet, and he glares.

“I can’t hold it forever! And who knows when we’ll be able to turn back. We might as well break the seal now.”

Ordinarily that kind of wording would be humorous, but you can’t find anything funny about the situation you’re currently in. Hajime stomps towards the bathroom, looking not unlike a toddler throwing a tantrum. 

‘ _Damn, I really look like that?’_

♡ ♡ ♡

“I can’t go with you staring at me!”

Hajime growls out, makeshift blindfold back in place. He has an inkling that he’ll be wearing this a lot now, but he can say for certain he never thought he’d be using a blindfold in this manner.

“You can’t even see me!”

“That’s not the point, I know you’re standing there!”

“Ugh, this is so humiliating! Just get it over with!”

You huff, slamming the door shut and flopping unceremoniously onto your bed, shoving your face into the pillows.

You hear the rush of water, good to know he washes his hands, and Hajime steps out of the bathroom feeling…. _new_ , for lack of a better word.

“You’ll have to deal with it too, you know.”

He turns his nose, drying his hands on his pants, cheeks still hot.

“…I already did.”

You huff, and Hajime cries out with indignation at the revelation.

“What the fuck? And you made such a big deal out of—”

“You’re really packing!”

You stick your tongue out, and Hajime moves to legitimately strangle you and make an attempt at your life, not caring if it’s his own body.

“H-Hajime please, I was kidding, I haven’t gone yet, I swear!”

“Whatever!”

Upon closer inspection, you look way less threatening than Hajime ever did, but you hold back the snicker before Hajime can get too pressed about it.

“Let’s just go back to my place and get ready for practice.”

He huffs, trailing out of your room as you follow, relieved he’s calmed a bit.

Your relief is short lived however, and a panic washes over you when you think about how you’ll have to go through Hajime forcing his clothes onto you. 


	2. Hijinks

Thankfully, Hajime’s parents had busied themselves in the morning. Probably out grocery shopping, he’d mentioned off hand.

With Hajime the one blindfolding you now, you can finally place yourself in his shoes, an uneasy humiliation enveloping your bones.

“We can’t exactly dress each other everyday for school, can we?”

You mumble, as Hajime lets you tug the loose tee overhead. It seems he wanted little to do with this dress up game scenario, while simultaneously attempting to save himself from the embarrassment of you catching an eyeful of his junk.

He pulls off the blindfold and stares with an uncomfortable expression and blush. You’ve been doing a lot of blushing today since… well, since you woke up in each other’s bodies.

“I guess not. But I’ll respect your body, don’t worry.”

He huffs, folding his arms across his chest.

A short gasp comes from his lips, clearly not used to having a set of breasts, and he pulls his arms away quicker than you’ve probably ever moved yourself. Hajime awkwardly settles for resting his hands at his hips, and you stifle the snort that threatens to escape.

“I trust you, Hajime. Don’t worry. And same goes for me! I won’t eat junk food before bed, and I’ll work out a lot too!”

You announce while fist pumping the air, and he rolls his eyes.

“You better. Come on, let’s go before my mom and dad get back.”

♡ ♡ ♡

A lot of changes had to be made to accommodate your… new lifestyle.

You decided it was best to swap phones, considering you each have the same model and should probably be conversing with your classmates and friends with some sort of vague continuity.

You also had a rather short lived and awkward conversation about bathroom time and changing.

And on the way to the park, you discussed the people you each talked with the most in class, how to talk to them, and to take notes properly.

You’re thorough if anything, trying to make this awful situation as easy as you can possibly make it.

“This is exhausting… and we haven’t even gotten to play volleyball yet.”

You bounce the volleyball in the grass, huffing at the torture this body swap is turning out to be.

“At least you can spike, and have a mean serve. It would have been way worse for me if you were a libero.”

At least Hajime is looking on the bright side.

“We just have to get used to our bodies.”

You attempt to reason alongside him, amping each other up.

♡ ♡ ♡

By the time the sun sets, you’re both panting in the grass next to each other. All former encouragements and hype lost, replaced by the dread of the coming Monday.

“We’re so fucked, I’m not used to being this tall, or having these limbs.”

You wave your arms around in the grass for emphasis, turning to gaze at your partner in this disaster.

“I feel like I’ve been launched back to middle school, it’s hard to get used to being short again.”

Hajime hums in agreement.

“I’m not that short! You’re just tall!”

“Not that tall!”

He grimaces, and you think you hear him mutter something about one more centimeter.

Before you can delve back to wallowing in misery, Hajime speaks up again,

“Whatever, we actually started doing pretty good by the end. It’s not the level we’re usually at, but I’m sure we can fake it in practice well enough. Chalk it up to being sick or something. We’ll be back to normal soon enough.”

Sitting upright, he musters a confident look that warms your chest. You’re glad he’s being optimistic, pushing away the negative thoughts that keep rearing up.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Now let’s get food, I’m starved.”

♡ ♡ ♡

“Agedashi tofu is the best after practice.”

He’s gleaming, and you think it looks more natural on your face than the stern countenance that seems trademark to Hajime. Though, you do miss the rare occasions you got too see that expression on his normal face… so you make a mental note to take plenty of happy face selfies while you’re in this body.

You can’t help the soft laugh, imagining all the faces you could make in Hajime’s body he wouldn’t be caught dead making normally. When he eyes you warily, you shake your head and respond before he catches on to your plan.

“The katsudon here is way better, you’re crazy.”

You grin, mouth watering as you bring a pork cutlet to your lips.

When you bite in, it turns out to be less satisfying than you remembered. 

_‘Weird, this place has really good katsudon.’_

When you peer over at Hajime, he seems to be sharing a similar dilemma.

“How is it?”

You tilt your head up, gazing cautiously at him.

“It’s… okay.”

He frowns, can he seriously not enjoy agedashi tofu right now? Or was it just made bad?

“Right. Same here.”

The two of you pause, stewing for a second at the disappointment of your favorite meals, before both having the same idea to swap plates.

When you bite into your newly swapped dishes, you both simultaneously break out into wide grins.

“Whaaat, this is so good!”

“’katsudon’s not so bad either.”

You burst out into laughter, 

“I guess our tastes have been swapped too.”

“I was beginning to think this would just be a nightmare. But there’s some fun things involved.”

Hajime hums, taking another hearty bite from the katsudon. You smile at his enthusiasm, before returning to your dish.

You continue to idly chatter about things that might be important to know, before walking home together.

When you reach the end of the street, Hajime almost makes the mistake of turning to the Iwaizumi residence. When he freezes, you realize you were equally ready to freely waltz into your own house.

You both awkwardly switch sides on the sidewalk, silently acknowledging the blunder with a light laugh.

“I’ll text you if I think of anything else. Have a good night,” you pause, “Y/N!” 

You wink at him, chuckling at the sour expression. If you thought referring to yourself as _Hajime_ was weird, it’s even more unsettling to call yourself by name.

Hajime rolls his eyes before waving goodbye.

“Yeah yeah… Hajime. See you tomorrow.”

The interaction certainly is odd, but you laugh with a grin nonetheless. Despite the fucked up situation, it’s kind of cool to have a secret to share with Hajime.

You just hope it isn’t permanent.

♡ ♡ ♡

When Hajime turns to the your household, he feels the nervousness come back full force.

The two of you spent all day with each other, not really worried about a stranger’s perception of them.

But now he has to deal with the people closest to you, _your parents._ And he’s actually quite fond of your parents, they’ve always treated him like the son they never had (as well as Oikawa), but he’s not exactly looking forward to living out their wish for a son vicariously through you.

He swings open the door, kicking his shoes off before stepping inside.

“I’m home!”

 _‘Remember to be enthusiastic, and keep that RBF in check!’_ he hears your insistent reminder echo in his mind, almost catching himself scowling.

“Welcome back darling! Did you eat?”

He hears your mother’s voice from the kitchen.

“I had something to eat with Hajime.”

He sweats a little, your mom is oddly calculated, always in tune with your emotions. Sometimes even his, but there’s no way she’d figure out what was going on, right?

“Good. If you get hungry later, there’s left overs.”

He calls out a thanks, almost sighing in relief, looks like the panic was for nothing. 

Hajime casually ( _yet so, so, eagerly_ ) heads for the stairs.

“Where are you going? Aren’t you going to say hi to Tooru? He and his mother came for dinner!”

_WHAT._

“Y/N-chan! You and Iwa-chan were hanging out today? We’re you practicing volleyball?”

As if on cue, Oikawa rounds the corner and cuts Hajime off at the stairs, eyeing the athletic attire he’s wearing,

“I have something I want to practice more, you should’ve texted me.”

He huffs, arms folded as he leans against the stairway’s frame. Clearly a trick, Oikawa blew up both of your phones all day long despite being told you were busy. Hajime resists the urge to scowl at the backhanded comment. Brat.

Wait a second… how exactly do you talk to Oikawa again? Hajime should know, he’s spent a majority of his life with the two of you, but he’s currently drawing blanks.

He seems to have wracked his brain a little too long for a normal interaction, as Oikawa’s eyeing him again with an inquisitive look.

“Sorry… Tooru. You were sleeping in, and we both just happened to wake up early. Besides, you shouldn’t be practicing so much.”

He’s glad he didn’t let the _‘Shittykawa’_ slip, that wouldn’t have been on brand for you at all. Out of habit though, he did punch Tooru in the arm.

“Yow! So mean, why are you hitting me?!”

Oikawa cries out, looking utterly scandalized as he rubs the sore spot on his arm.

“Because you deserve it.”

Hajime rolls his eyes, hopefully you won’t become aware of this interaction or he’ll get an earful from you. He’s still slightly convinced he’s an innocent bystander affected by some sort of cosmic punishment on Oikawa Tooru.

“Are you mad at me?!”

Hajime ignores Oikawa’s cry of complaint, jogging up the stairs. It’s hard being you, he grimaces as he beelines for the safety your room.

Finally in the comfort of privacy, he collapses into your sheets with a sigh of relief.

It could barely be considered a conversation with your mother, and Oikawa, but he’s already feeling mentally exhausted from the social exchange.

And tomorrow marks the start of the school week. _Great._

Hajime slumps into your absurd amount pillows ( _seriously, you only need one_ ). If he feels a little disappointed that he can’t recognize your scent anymore, he certainly doesn’t admit it, and definitely doesn’t entertain the intrusive thought longer than a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m actually having so much fun with this au it’s adsklag;hj, I just like to watch my faves suffer in a chaotic mess I can not lie.
> 
> ♡Again I'm @hajimewhore on tumblr if you want to check out my stuff!♡


	3. This isn't what it looks like?

You initially dreaded the conversation with Hajime’s parents, wincing on the way through the door with a slight panic washing over you. But after a short and pleasant talk with them, you came to find the conversation flowed more naturally than you’d anticipated.

They’re not as doting to Hajime as they are to you, you note, but they’re friendly and pleasant and you feel as if you’re talking to your own family. Much like your own parents wanted a son, Hajime’s always wanted a daughter, so they often acted as your second set of parents. You feel a bit silly in retrospect, they’re as charming as ever with Hajime as they are with you.

They mostly inquire about Hajime’s day, and after a bit you excuse yourself to ‘study’, escaping to Hajime’s room. You’re beginning to feel positive about the next school day after the interaction, confidence boosted.

Who knew you would turn out to be such a good actress, better than you thought! Award winning, honestly. This whole body swap will be a cake walk. You can totally pull off being Hajime!

♡ ♡ ♡

It seems you can definitely pull off the acting portion, but the sweat sticking to your clothes from your exhausting (emotionally and physically) practice is starting to make you consider the hygiene aspect of the swap. Which, has you feeling _wildly_ uncomfortable.

This cosmic joke, shitty trope of a situation has you experiencing humiliation and embarrassment at levels you didn’t even realize were possible to achieve.

Normally after a grueling practice, you wouldn’t hesitate to hop straight into the shower and blast the hot water over your skin, feeling your muscles and aches soothed. But this isn’t your skin, or your muscles. You’re consistently reminded every hour, minute, and second, that it’s all _Hajime_. You should feel comforted that he’s definitely experiencing the same emotional crisis as you, but it only serves to heighten your distress.

Cheeks immediately heating at that, you recall the conversation with Hajime from earlier at the park.

_“Just... let’s not think about it. And let’s definitely not talk about it. It’s a natural part of life.”_

You know full well of the agreement you came to with red stained cheeks, but is there any way you could go without it? And drench yourself with Axe body spray? Or whatever it is guys like to use. You bet it would make a good repellent, no one would want to talk to you if you smelled like that.

You scrunch your nose, dashing the thought immediately, definitely not. Not only would it make you feel gross, Hajime would whack you first thing in the morning, and probably shove you in the shower himself.

_‘No big deal, no big deal, it’s no big deal, you can do this!’_

You find yourself chanting silent encouragements as you peel your shirt off, pitching it into a laundry basket. When you catch your reflection, a dark pink creeps across your features.

Yep, that’s still Hajime’s face, 

_‘Gaaah, don’t look at me like that!’_

You press your hands to your face, but you end up peaking through your fingers anyways. The low sweats definitely don’t help, and neither do Hajime’s well defined abs.

You’d been true to your word when you told Hajime you hadn’t seen anything, but now you’re a little desperate to know what the deal is downstairs.

You won’t look. You shouldn’t. You don’t look. _You definitely do not look._

You look,

pulling the sweats down, and shoving the briefs just past your thighs, you bite your lip at the revelation.

Okay.

_Alright._

This is fine.

_This is totally fine._

Hajime is just secretly _packing_.

_WHAT THE FUCK?_

You suppose it wasn’t necessarily a secret, it was always assumed of Hajime. You’ve also been privy to the third years’ cock talk at lunch, and he always did exude big dick energy, but _damn Hajime._

Wait. Are you—

_NOPE._

_NOPE NOPE NOPE YOU ARE NOT DEALING WITH THIS RIGHT NOW_.

You cover your face again, a recurring action today it seems, cheeks burning rampant and hotter than ever before. You feel a prickly hot and itchy feeling light a fire up your back to your neck, the heat of pure, unbridled, embarrassment coursing every vein.

Were you... getting a _boner_?

_NOOOOOOO._

From being turned on by Hajime? While _you are_ Hajime?

This is some paradoxical _bullshit_ you are simply _not_ having right now, not tonight, not tomorrow, and hopefully _never again._

Despite the shame and humiliation beating down on your psyche, you risk a glance to see how much bigger he looks than before.

“Cold shower, _yep_. Cold shower helps, right?”

You immediately shove the briefs the rest of the way down, before hopping in the shower, starting it up at the coldest setting. Hopefully the freezing water will wash away not only your transgressions but also your mortification.

You squeak at the cold, bite your lip and shiver, tough it out, and will away the uncomfortable situation.

♡ ♡ ♡

You sigh, hoping the morning will go smoother than the _swell_ night you had, hopping down the steps of Hajime’s house.

You cross the street to meet up with him and Tooru, already seeing their figures across the road.

“Ha-Hey.”

You almost slip up with his name, but you make a clean save. Mentally patting yourself on the back, you glance to see Hajime’s bitter expression and—

Your jaw drops when you catch sight of... yourself. Your silent wish for a trouble-free morning is cast aside as you examine his appearance.

Hair unkempt, face completely bare, not even moisturizer or at least sunscreen to be seen, did he even _try_?

“Ha hey to you too, Iwa-chan.”

Tooru raises a brow at the odd introduction, clearly noting the slip up (and also the fact that Hajime usually settles for a short grunt and never a _‘Ha-hey’_ ), but you can’t be bothered to entertain him right now with the current Hajime dilemma.

“Right, whatever,” you direct your attention to Hajime, “can I grab that thing I lent you yesterday?”

“What are you talking about? You’re being weird, _Hajime._ ”

He warns you with a stern look, but you aren’t having it,

“I’m not, I know you have it, we can grab it right now. Tooru, you go ahead. I’ll see you later.”

You push Hajime back in the direction of your house, and Tooru frowns at his abrupt seclusion with zero explanation.

“Are you guys seriously ditching me?”

Tooru raises a brow, arms akimbo with a disgraced look.

“Yeah, we are, Shittykawa. Let’s go.”

You hate to diss Tooru without a solid reason, but it’s pretty on brand for Hajime, so you bite out the nickname with minor discomfort on your lips. You impatiently grab Hajime, before pulling him towards the steps of your house, Tooru’s complaints going unheard behind you.

♡ ♡ ♡

“Hajime! You’re not wearing any make up! And my hair is a mess!”

You whine out, sitting him down at your vanity.

Hajime merely scowls,

“Seriously? That’s what this is about? Don’t scare me like that, I thought there was something wrong.”

He moves to stand, but you shove him back into the seat with a little more aggression than intended, you lowkey forgot how strong Hajime was.

And Hajime looks up at you with a incredulous expression, feeling a little scandalized, _as a woman,_ that you would handle him like that.

“There IS something wrong though. I look awful! At least wear some foundation and mascara, that stuff is easy to apply!”

You pull out your make up box, flicking on the mirror light.

“I think you look fine this way,” he huffs, “you don’t need all that shit.”

A frown tugs at his lips, and you feel your heartbeat quicken at his earnest display. You bite back a wistful sigh, this is exactly the reason you’ve always been so drawn to Hajime. Rough around the edges, but there there’s no bullshit when it comes to him. He doesn’t disguise his intentions, doesn’t waste time saving face. He’s just genuine, unadulterated, Iwaizumi Hajime, what you see is exactly what you get, and you honestly wouldn’t have him any other way.

Setting aside your thoughts for another time to privately dwell on, you ignore the feeling. 

“Really? That’s nice of you to say. Keep going.”

You smile, pink dusting your cheeks. You hope your expression doesn’t look too soft as you continue to apply the makeup to his face.

“Fishing for compliments now? No way, Shitty-L/N.”

“Nooo! Don’t call me that!”

You pause mid powder to cry out in your indignation, to which he masterfully ignores fixating his gaze on something more interesting than your whining, like the window sill.

After a bit of complaining, back and forth bickering about how uncomfortable the make up feels, you continue with a light highlight and mascara. You stop once you’re satisfied with your work, not bothering to deal with any extras like eyeliner or eyeshadow.

“All this for what? It tickles, and you can’t even touch it.”

Hajime’s hand hovers over his cheek, careful not to smudge anything. You must’ve smacked his hand away too many times, it seems.

“You get used to it. Plus it can be fun to try different brands and colors, and the little confidence boost isn’t bad.”

“Not that you need it.”

Hajime sighs out, standing from the seat to stretch. You’re sure it’s meant to be an insult to the crude ego you (and Tooru) tend to display, but you sense an underlying meaning that winds up boosting your ego even more.

“Anyways, we’re all done! And with time to spare.”

You chrip, gleaming with pride at your work. Add that too the list of things you should be, actress, and make up artist (next to pro volleyball player of course).

Hajime glances to the mirror, “’looks nice, I guess,” he hums in very faint approval.

That’s as good as a compliment to you, so you’ll take it!

He shifts to make way for the door, hooking his school bag over his shoulder.

“And it was definitely easier to do it on you than myself. Hey, maybe when you learn how to put it on yourself, you can do it for me when we switch back?”

You hover around him eagerly, and he rolls his eyes, resisting the urge to not smack his own body.

“No way in hell. The most I’ll do while we’re switched is that eyelash shit and the foundation or whatever,” he pauses, averting his eyes, “and only because it makes you so happy for some damn reason.”

You grin, ecstatic with his unexpected compliance, pulling him into a hug,

“And that’s perfect, eyelash shit and foundation or whatever is good enough for me!”

“H-Hey! Knock it off!”

It feels weird, being so much taller and hugging your body, but it still feels right considering it’s Hajime despite it all.

He tentatively returns the embrace, albeit awkwardly with one arm.

“We’re gonna be late if we keep bullshitting. Let’s go!”

He gently pushes you off and hightails it out of your room, and you laugh trailing after his awkward stomps.

“Also, wear your skirt higher!”

You call out behind him.

“What? No way in hell! This is the school standard, you always wear it too high!”

He spins around, uncomfortably smoothing out the skirt pleats as if the action could make it lengthier.

“I have nice legs, and I want to show it off!”

You growl, chasing Hajime down the stairs, grabbing onto the waistline of the skirt.

“That’s stupid and you know it. Just who are you trying to impress?! They shouldn’t like you for your legs!”

He holds a tight grip on the skirt and you scowl, prying Hajime’s hands away to yank up the garment.

“No one, it’s called fashion!”

You successfully tug the skirt higher, but a bit too much considering your panties are on full display.

You snort at the sight, “Hajime, you dog, are you wearing my strawberry panties?”

Hajime feels a sense of shame at the sudden breeze, mockery, and unfathomable humiliation.

“Knock it off, it’s just a school uniform idiot! And what the fuck else was I supposed to wear?!”

He tugs the skirt back down and you click your tongue, grabbing a fist full of the fabric to hike it back up. 

_“What are you two doing, we’re gonna be late!”_

Tooru swings the front door open with a huff, eyes locking onto the both of you. You freeze position, instantly dreading the conversation that’s sure to take place shortly, whereas the tall setter halts at the display before him.

His precious, dear, sweet, childhood best friend’s hands are grasping at his brutish, caveman, heathen of a best friend’s biceps.

Said precious bestie’s hands are trying to shove aforementioned despicable heathen’s grip from her skirt, cheeks bright red

“Uh, this... _isn’t what it looks like?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do it to ya😈 Sorry for the cliffhanger, but next part soon!!! 
> 
> tumblr: @hajimewhore


	4. Matsukawa fucking Issei

“Uh, this… _isn’t what it looks like?_ ” 

Come’s your kneejerk response to Tooru’s exaggeratedly disgusted expression, you can tell he’s about 0.2 seconds away from throwing a fit.

“I went out of my way to wait for you, _because I’m that good of a friend_ , you’re welcome. But you were taking _so long,_ I figured I’d come in and drag you guys out. So. can someone please explain,” he shoots you _(Hajime in his perception)_ a hard look, “What the _hell is this?!_ ”

Tooru is flushed in the face, and though his stellar performance and comical gestures were entertaining, you balk a bit at his outburst.

It’s a bit intense, and you feel a nervous sweat down your back. You can seldom say you’ve been on the receiving end of Tooru’s anger, and your struggling to come up with the right words to save face.

“I can explain?”

And what you came up with turned out to be excruciatingly underwhelming, and the baffled look Hajime sends you tells you that he also found your response pathetic.

Being in Hajime’s body with your hands clutched at his skirt, pulling away as if the garment was crafted using hot coals the second Tooru made an entrance, You’ll admit… it looked _highly_ incriminating, and you’re going have some painful explaining to do.

“Well it _looks_ like you’ve got your _dirty_ hands on _my_ bestfriend,” Tooru opts to refer to your actual self as his bestfriend, “What, _Iwa-chan_ , can’t get any action? Trying to cop a feel before school? I didn’t think you were like that!”

He finishes the first segment of his rant with a huff. Under normal circumstances, you’d be appreciative of the rank up on his bestfriend list. Currently though, Tooru is getting under your skin, and as young man, you’re a little offended that he’s talking to you like that.

Tooru takes two strides _(curse his long legs)_ across the threshold of your house, eyes narrowing in on you.

You glances to Hajime to ease the situation, he’s the only one that can say anything to help alleviate the situation.

Tooru follows your gaze, eyeing skeptically for an explanation. Hajime clears his throat, and you think you just might be saved. He’s always been quick to resolve altercations, whether its verbally or physically.

“….Hajime wanted me to wear my skirt shorter, but I said it was against school dress code.”

Hajime states as a matter of fact, and you gasp, _what the fuck Hajime,_ but Tooru’s absolutely scandalized gasp overshadows your own.

“You _asshole_ , that’s not—” 

Tooru is quick to interrupt you,

“You absolute heathen Iwa-chan! Who knew you’d turn out to be such a dog!”

Tooru snags your collar with a tight fist, and you instinctively wrap your hand around his.

Uh… you’re not gonna have to fight Tooru, are you? It’s Hajime’s body, so you’d gladly let him get bruised up as retribution for that comment, but you’re not too keen on getting punched in the face by Tooru protecting _your own dignity._

“It’s not like that!”

You scramble for a way to dig yourself out of this one. Tooru’s locked his glare on you, exuding pressure.

“Then what _is_ it like Iwa-chan?”

You glance from Tooru’s scowl to see Hajime’s smug expression behind him, your brow ticks at the sight of it. 

_‘That little…’_

Weren’t you just saying last night how excellent of an actress you were? Time to put that to the test.

You forcefully remove Tooru’s fist from your collar, adjusting your tie. Tooru allows you to gather yourself for a moment, scorn still etched across his features.

Averting your eyes to the side with a serious, contemplative gaze, you muster all the dramatics you can to pull off your next line. Internally, you think smugly that you must appear picture perfect for a drama noir film. If only it were raining too, that would set the atmosphere ideally. But an actress must work with what she’s got. 

Tooru seems decently invested in your dramatics, and Hajime is looking at you with contempt, as if he drank sour milk. Now that a pregnant pause has settled in and you’ve garnered the crowd’s interest, you sigh, long and wistfully,

“She never wears her skirt like that… I thought she might be struggling with her self confidence, so I was just trying to make her feel comfortable with herself. I’m such a brute though, I guess I got carried away.”

You cast your gaze sheepishly to Tooru, rapping your knuckles lightly against the top of your head to emphasize your point.

Tooru blinks at the explanation, takes in the information, considers the evidence in his mind.

His eyes begin to water, as expected, tears brimming at his long lashes as he spins around to pull Hajime _(AKA you)_ into a bone crushing hug. He’s got a suffocating grip on him, all the while crying about _‘Hajime’s’_ reasoning.

“I didn’t even notice! Forgive your stupid bestfriend, I should’ve said something too! How did I miss that?!” his dramatics always seem to up yours, Tooru is currently stealing best-in-show from you, “Waaaah, I’m sorry, you’re perfect the way you are!”

He cries into what he thinks is your shoulder, no doubt using the fabric to wipe his face, much to Hajime’s disdain. Meanwhile, Hajime is glaring hard and venomously at you for that bullshit display.

_‘Are you fucking kidding me?’_

He mouths, and you stick your tongue out, giving him the cheekiest expression he’d never want to see on his own face.

“Whew, alright,” Tooru straightens, clearing his throat and flicking his last tear off with the swipe of a hand, “Now we _really_ have to go. Hike that skirt up and let’s get on with our day.”

He’s back to picture perfect Oikawa Tooru, no evidence of his outburst to be seen _(asides from the wet spot on Hajime’s shoulder)_.

You try to grunt in agreement as casual and Hajime-like as you can.

For the sake of getting to school on time without any further incidents, Hajime pulls the uniform skirt up a tad higher, vowing to lower it when you fucking nuisances are out of the picture.

♡ ♡ ♡

Your final class is almost over, and you’re feeling…. extremely uncomfortable.

Not because the school day went bad, no, you found it easy to converse with his classmates and teachers. Notetaking was relatively simple, you’re learning the same material as Hajime anyways.

You’re _physically_ uncomfortable, and the pressure of your bladder about to burst is driving you crazy.

_‘I can’t take it any more!’_

You shoot your hand up, and your teacher gives you an odd look before you excuse yourself to the restroom.

You head to the furthest end of the building, the women’s restroom is generally vacant so the men’s should be the same, yeah? And you definitely don’t want to be caught in the women’s, despite how empty it could possibly be. So with a heavy sense of shame, you waddle into the men’s room.

If someone’s in there, it’ll be fine. Just be in, and out. No big deal.

Oh. 

Oh _fuck_ no.

“Iwaizumi, hey.”

Matsukawa fucking Issei glances up to the door you just waltzed through. Matsukawa Issei, middle for the Seijou men’s team, tall and messy haired flirt, the same Matsukawa Issei that helps you with your blocks and techniques, friend of Tooru and Hajime… and he’s staring straight at you with a casual nod of his head. 

You try to return it as casually as possible, despite your bones and every being shaking in you. 

_‘Fuck, I forgot men I actually know use the men’s room.’_

“…Mattsu–” _nope_ not Mattsun (so much for being casual, you almost fucked up the way Hajime refers to Matsukawa), “–kawa.”

He raises an eyebrow for the briefest second, before returning his attention to the urinal, unzipping his pants. _Un. Zipping. His. Pants._

He doesn’t give you much time to dwell on the slip up, already entering conversation about how your day is, to which you give short response to, trying not to shuffle your feet to the urinal. You really don’t want him to catch on to your discomfort.

You heavily contemplate just going into a stall, but you think that might be weird for guys to do. Now that you think about it, isn’t it weird to piss in the urinal directly next to the other guy? If you chose one spaced out would he get offended? Goddamnit, you never learned men’s room etiquette. Screw this whole situation, and screw Matsukawa Issei for needing to relieve himself at this exact time. 

Well, it’s too late now, you’re already standing at the one directly next to Mattsun. You can’t exactly take your sweet time picking another urinal and shuffling about while Mattsun is here engaging you in conversation about his fucking math class.

If it was weird to choose the spot beside him, Mattsun doesn’t say anything about it, going about his business. 

Thankfully, if you could even be thankful for a situation like this, you’re so overwhelmed by Mattsun’s unexpected presence that it’s keeping your mind off the having-Hajime’s-dick thing. The discomfort is still there, but you have to pee _so badly,_ you’re not too bothered by it at the moment.You’re also intently focusing on not blushing, willing the blood flow to your cheeks to cooperate with you for once.

Simultaneously, you’re concentrating on not looking at Matsukawa fucking Issei’s junk. You’re getting good at multitasking.

But apparently, not good enough. Your willpower wasn’t as strong as you thought, and your focus slips for a moment as you gaze down and– _was someone going to tell you that Matsukawa fucking Issei was HUNG?_

“Is there something wrong with my dick?”

You shoot your eyes back up to Mattsun, who’s tilting his head with a thick brow raised. 

_‘Hajime, if you hear about this, I am so sorry.’_

“Nope, it’s perfectly fine,” you respond curtly, before coming to the realization that Hajime probably wouldn’t like you telling his friends that their dicks are ‘perfectly fine’, “I mean, no. It’s seriously ugly.”

You cringe at your save, if you could call it that, and Mattsun ( _finally)_ zips up. He casts a momentarily offended look at you.

“I think you mean ‘seriously huge’.” 

He laughs deeply, heading to the sink. You completely agree with that sentiment, and you’re glad he knows he’s well endowed, but it’s best to keep those thoughts to yourself.

You follow suit, laughing as sarcastically as you can without letting your voice crack. 

“Whatever, man.”

You proceed to have awkward sink talk with Mattsun, and upon exiting the restroom you thank the gods when you see his class is the opposite way to yours. 

“See you at practice.”

He waves, and when Mattsun is out of sight, you sigh in immense relief. 

_Just how many dicks are you going to see before you swap back?_ You sob internally, returning to your class.

But that does bring up a point, _Men’s Volleyball Practice._

You’re marginally grateful for that encounter with Mattsun, because now you’re acutely aware of the locker room changing time before and after practice. 

You bury your face in your arms, taking note to sprint like hell and get to practice early. You’ll be damned if you have to spend any amount of time struggling to avoid eye contact with your friends’ abs, as well as Hajime’s other teammates’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHA the CHAOS. Anyways, we all know Matsukawa got that horsec*ck.  
> Thanks for tuning in for this week’s episode of y/n’s awkward panic. Iwaizumi Is So Done.


	5. Practice makes perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a long chapter, about 3.3k!! but I felt like I should write more since I haven’t posted for this series in like... 10 days, oop. Hope you enjoy this week(ish)’s chapter!

Tooru is already dressed out, early to practice for once. You belatedly realize he had the right idea, a slight panic enveloping you as you walk alongside Mattsun and Makki to the locker room, presumably to change side by side and chit chat about whatever it is guys talk about in the men’s locker room. But if you dress fast, you won’t have to worry about it!

You set your resolve, throwing your bag onto the bench, pulling out some of Hajime’s athletic wear.

Tossing your shirt over your head and tucking it neatly into the bag, you nearly jump when Mattsun and Makki’s idle conversation directs to you. You were hoping they would just ignore you and get caught up with each other, but that clearly isn’t the case here.

“Hah?”

You force yourself to stare them in the face, as you can tell through your peripherals the two are currently shirtless. It’s a predicament you never thought you’d have to deal with, but you absolutely cannot be caught staring at their abs–or any other region below the neck, in Hajime’s form.

And relating to lower regions, you’re still trying to work yourself up to looking Matsukawa in the eye after the bathroom incident earlier.

“We asked how Y/N-chan was doing. She hasn’t come to watch practice in awhile.”

You haven’t, actually. You've been busy with your own practices, as well as academics. They usually start and let out sooner than Tooru and Hajime’s, so you tend to slide by after, but lately you've been studying.

“She’s fine.”

You grunt out in a clipped tone. That’s something Hajime would say, right? Short, simple, and uninformative.

“Hmm. I miss her cute face coming around.”

Mattsun comments, and you don’t hide the fact you’re rolling your eyes. It seems Mattsun is a flirt whether you're around or not.

“I know right? It’s crazy how she’s such close friends with Iwaizumi and Oikawa.”

Makki responds, sending you a wink to let you know he’s teasing. You try not to visualize it while he’s slipping a loose shirt on.

That reminds you to finish dressing, as you pull the rest of the outfit from your duffel.

“Total opposites. What was it like growing up with her?”

Mattsun questions, and you think for a moment.

No doubt Hajime would say something like _‘She’s just as much of a brat as Shittykawa, you just don’t see her enough’._

Considering Hajime isn’t here though... you can say whatever you want.

A glint flares in your eyes, before you return to the patented stern Hajime expression.

“I was really protective of her, had to keep her from bugs, lizards, Shittykawa. You think he’s bad now? He was rotten then. She was a really cute kid, though. I’m glad she’s my best friend now.”

Mattsun and Makki stare at you with surprise etched onto their features, eyeing each other discreetly.

You hold back a snicker, you're really painting him as a softie. Guess they’re not used to Hajime sharing that much either.

“Wow, that was surprisingly...” Mattsun pauses, lacking a good word,

“Adorable? Soft? Completely out of character for him?” Makki finishes, and Mattsun clicks his tongue, bingo.

“That was a bit soft, but yeah. You must really like her, huh Iwaizumi?”

Mattsun slaps you on the back, and you cringe with the strength he had behind the playful hit. Makki nudges your side attempting to ruffle your hair, but you dodge the move before he gets the chance to. You slip out of his grasp before clearing your throat,

“Whatever, it’s not like that. Just get to practice.”

You scold, deciding that’s enough image ruining for one day. 

It only slightly backfired when you imagined Hajime having a crush on you, which he wouldn’t, and doesn’t. You feel your cheeks heat up, and you stuff your things into your locker before Mattsun and Makki take notice.

Though you desperately wanted to spout some uncharacteristic nonsense about how much Hajime _loves_ you, and he’d do _anything_ for you, and you're the prettiest, _prettiest_ girl in the school, as well as something especially out of character, like the way your skirt is so low drives him _crazy_ –you’re not so sure you can take the teasing about Hajime having a crush on you.

Not that you’d have to worry about that upon more deliberation, they’d definitely think Hajime would need medical attention if you pulled a stunt like that. And then you actually would, if Hajime caught wind of it.

So you settle for the total softy moment, and strut back onto the court.

♡ ♡ ♡

Practice isn’t... _terrible_... but you wouldn’t say it’s the best practice Seijou ever had for their main roster. In fact, you’d say it’s arguably the _worst_ practice the team has ever had.

You consistently mixed up hand signals and cues (the formations weren’t exactly etched into your mind like they were Hajime’s), you didn’t remember to go in for a pipe in one instance, and your line could use some work to be on par with Hajime’s usual. 

All in all, it was dog shit. 

“Iwa-chan, how is it that you’ve gotten worse at spiking and better at blocking?!”

Tooru scolds, and you frown. You weren’t a bad hitter, you just weren’t used to being Hajime.

“Sorry, I’m not in my top form today, Shittykawa!”

Of all the times you've said that nickname being Hajime, this specific instance feels like it came from the heart. Tooru is seriously getting on your nerves, though you can’t exactly blame him, it’s not like he understands the situation you’re in.

“It’s like you forgot how! The power is there, but your technique is off! It’s like it all shifted to your blocks!”

Tooru rants with his hands at his hips, the picturesque pose of a parent scolding their child for getting into trouble. 

Mattsun rubs his jaw in thought, “Yeah, you are blocking a little differently. It’s weird, almost like we’re playing with a different person,” and the way he eyes you suspiciously makes your nerves skyrocket.

You sweat at his quick deduction, he’s so infuriatingly dead on and he doesn’t even realize it.

All you can do is offer up apologies, swearing to do better next time.

You're lucky you practiced with Tooru throughout your childhood till now, so you’ve already formed a semblance of chemistry there, but you still have no idea how the rest of the team plays.

Granted, you practiced with Mattsun a few times to get blocking tips, but other than him it was only Tooru and... well, Hajime, but that’s no help to you in this situation whatsoever.

Sighing, you wipe the sweat off your brow and resolve for better results next time. You convince yourself you just need to get used to the way their team plays, and mentally hedge out some more one on one practice with Hajime in the future.

♡ ♡ ♡

Hajime made sure to get to practice early. 

While it might be every guy's dream _(he can certainly name a few)_ to be in his current predicament, he had zero intentions of getting caught up with any of the girls in the locker room, it’s bad enough he is a girl now–hell, he struggles to even look in the mirror half the time.

Practice itself wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t stellar.

Your current state is much like his own in early middle school. Shorter _(curvier, but he’ll ignore that part with every fiber of his being)_ , but your vertical is good and he finds he can jump pretty high if it’s timed right.

It’s jarring to feel like he’s been reset back to middle school, but it’s even worse to be in a body that isn’t his own.

He can still spike pretty well, and his blocks aren’t awful, but he can’t get the hang of any of it. Let alone the team dynamics.

After getting scolded by your teammates for forgetting hand signals and plays, he trudges to the boys gymnasium with a bit of agitation.

And turns out, you were sharing similar struggles.

“Should we just swap you to block more instead? Maybe Makki can be our ace if you can’t hit my sets properly!”

Tooru is being especially bratty today, it seems. But to his credit, he’s playing with someone that isn’t actually Hajime, with an important tournament looming over their heads. 

“Don’t be an ass. Am I not allowed to have a bad day?”

You look pissed, very fitting on his face, and Hajime feels for you. It’s difficult talking with your friend in a way you never have before, while simultaneously adjusting to a new team and body.

“Oi! Tooru! Leave Hajime alone, or I’ll shave your head in your sleep!”

He calls out, interrupting the argument. He hears Matsukawa and Hanamaki snicker, while Tooru sputters in shock and whips his head to the entrance.

“Y/N-chan, you wouldn’t!”

He covers his precious locks, and Hajime gives him a look that says _‘I totally would’._

“Ugh, whatever.” Tooru clicks his tongue, turning his head to peer at you. 

His eyes are narrowed, you can tell he’s calmed a bit but you can guess the frustration is still present. You bristle under the calculating stare.

“Whatever’s bothering you, I’m sure you’ll pull it together. Don’t keep us waiting too long... ace.”

He slaps you on the back with a force you certainly aren't used to, before jogging to the locker rooms. Admittedly, his sentiment made your heart skip a beat. 

_‘When did Tooru get so mature?’_

You hold back the pout and sigh, watching everyone clear out following behind their captain.

“Did your practice go as poorly as mine?”

You mutter when Hajime makes his way to your spot, and he nods a bit abashedly.

“I sucked. Wasn’t terrible, but I kept getting yelled at for messing up plays and forgetting signs.”

While it’s nice to know he’s in the same boat as you, you feel sorry thinking about how long your captain must have chewed him out for.

“Ahhh, I hope we can figure this out soon. It’s nice being almost 6 foot but I’m tired of being a guy!”

You whine, and Hajime grimaces a bit at the ‘almost’ remark.

“Being a girl is exhausting too, I don’t know how you do it. You know, I got hit on by one of my own classmates on the way here?”

At least there’s a greater appreciation formed between you two for the struggles of the opposite gender.

“Yeah? Was he cute?”

You glance up at that and he frowns on sight.

“He’s the guy who sits at the back in my second period. Not your type.”

He turns his chin up, and you scrunch your nose trying to think back to all of Hajime’s classmates.

“Hm. How do you know what my type is anyways?”

“I don’t. I just know it’s not that.”

He says it so resolutely, it almost makes your heart flutter. You used to get pissed when Hajime and Tooru would drive away potential suitors, but once you came to the realization that you had a embarrassingly huge crush on Hajime… Well, it didn’t seem so bad anymore whenever he’d wrap a protective arm around you and tell another boy to piss off.

“Whatever. I’ll make sure to get you lots of honeys while I’m in your body, cause I’m that sweet!”

You stick your tongue out, the implied _‘because I know you can’t do it on your own’_ hanging off the edge of your statement.

Of course, you’d never purposefully hook Hajime up with another girl if you didn’t have to, but you won’t resist the opportunity to tease him.

“Don’t you dare, I’m not interested.”

He glares, and you bite your cheek to keep from preening at that.

“You always say that. You need to get some experience!”

“I had a girlfriend—“

“And that girl in middle school doesn’t count. It was middle school, she was a bitch, and you can do better.”

Your bratty personality is really shining through, but Hajime knows it’s only to mask your sincerity. 

He grins at the comment, “Yeah, like who?”

And you so desperately want to say _‘like me’_ , but before you can slip up you hear the coach call out to the stragglers to get changed and go home to eat.

And you're very thankful for that, praising Coach Irihata internally. You’re also thankful he didn’t pull you aside to discuss your performance earlier, allowing you and Hajime’s teammates to hash it out.

“Give me a sec and I’ll be out. Hopefully everyone is finished changing so I don’t accidentally stare at anyone’s abs!”

You flash a wink, and Hajime’s cheeks turn a healthy pink surprisingly fast, calling out _“You better not!”_ as you jog away.

♡ ♡ ♡

Hajime sighs, settling on the bench waiting for you and presumably Tooru to walk home together. He can’t wait to listen to Tooru criticize you, as him, for the entire walk home. _Not._

“Y/N-chan, long time no see.”

It’s Matsukawa’s voice.

Hajime glances up to see Matsukawa looming over him. It’s already bad enough the guy’s got a few inches on him normally, he towers over you.

“Hey, uh, Mattsun.”

Hajime’s not exactly sure how you converse with Matsukawa, but he’s glad he at least remembered you call him by Tooru’s crappy nicknames.

“How’d practice go?”

He takes a seat beside Hajime, who grimaces at the sour memory, a fresh wound replaying in his mind.

“Alright, I guess.”

“Hmm. Iwaizumi seemed like he was having a bad day too. He was blocking well though. Hey, did you give him any of my pointers?”

He gives a sly look to Hajime, who bristles at the expression, and though Matsukawa always looks sneaky, it’s a different sort of expression he’s not used to seeing on him. Or rather, on any of their teammates at least.

“What do you mean?”

Hajime questions, unsure of the vibe Matsukawa is producing right now.

“He seemed like he was using some of those techniques I showed you, I thought that was between us middle blockers!”

Hajime blinks at his comment, jaw slacking for a moment.

Do you hang out with him? That’s news to him. Sometimes you grab food or hang out together, but that was always with him, Tooru, and Hanamaki. He didn’t know you practiced blocking with him, how often did you do that?

His mind rattles with questions, searching the depths of his memories for encounters between you and Matsukawa. The worry must be evident on his features, as Matsukawa speaks up again,

“Ahh, it’s not a big deal. You’re not in trouble or anything. Don’t worry,” Matsukawa pokes his forehead, and Hajime only has time to think _‘what the fuck’_ before Matsukawa’s talking again, “at least you're showing my teammate.”

“Right,” Hajime mutters, wondering when you became close enough for Matsukawa to talk to you so casually.

He usually talks a lot less too, Hajime’s a little surprised he approached you openly. He never paid much attention before, but Matsukawa had always been the quiet type, occasionally making jests with Hanamaki, poking fun at Tooru, but usually he keeps to himself.

“Hey, got any plans this weekend?”

Matsukawa tilts his head and Hajime freezes.

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck _what the fuck_ —

“Yeah,”

No, he–technically you, didn’t.

Is this a thing? Like a romantic thing? Do you have a romantic thing going on with Matsukawa? You never said anything about it. He should know, Hajime's your best friend, and Matsukawa’s his friend.

Wait, of course, why would you tell him if you did? You’d probably tell your friend who’s name he awkwardly couldn’t remember in class earlier.

And if there is a thing how could he ruin that for you? Fuck. What the fuck. He hates this, why does he have to be privy to your relationship-friendship-whatever the fuck thing with Matsukawa?

“I mean, no.”

God damnit.

“Which is it?”

And Matsukawa laughing at him like he’s a cute girl, which he is, isn’t exactly helping.

And now Hajime can place that look he gave him from earlier, Matsukawa, that sly bastard. He’s being a flirt.

In fact, Hajime feels really grossed out right now because of the look Matsukawa is currently giving him. He’s got these oddly inviting eyes, weirdly coy smile, meanwhile Hajime’s cringing internally while simultaneously trying to conjure up your intentions.

But he’s not you, not mentally at least, so how’s he supposed to know how to respond?

“Maybe?”

Is his response, and its delivery was pretty pathetic.

Someone please interrupt him so he doesn’t have to flirt with Matsukawa for you, or not flirt with Matsukawa for you, because he’s not even sure if you like him.

Either way, he really does not want to flirt with Matsukawa. That’s completely off the table. And personally, he’s really weirded out it’s an option he momentarily had to consider because he cares about you.

“Don’t think about it too hard,” Matsukawa laughs, “I just wanted to grab a bite, catch a movie or something. Maybe even practice if you promise not to give away my trade secrets again.” 

Matsukawa puts his finger up with a teasing smile, and Hajime tries to keep his face neutral, cause flat out pulling his signature Iwaizumi scowl would be downright rude. 

As much as he’d like to reject the offer and keep you as far away from boys as he can, you're a woman who can make your own decisions–and while Hajime, after a shocking turn of events one morning, is now a woman, he ironically can’t make his own decisions because he’s in your body. 

Ugh, that thought almost gave him a migraine.

“I... maybe? I’ll.... text you.”

He tries, and Matsukawa hums, eyeing his blush.

Though in actuality Hajime’s blush is entirely because he feels straight up humiliated and would like to get the fuck out of this situation as fast as possible, _please._

“Sure, I’ll look forward to your answer.”

And with that, Hajime jolts from his spot on the bench and practically sprints outside.

_“What the fuck.”_

He’s finally able to say out loud.

It’s one thing to turn down some random guy outside, but this is someone you both know personally.

Someone who is in fact a great person, which is a rarity. He knows he and Tooru wouldn’t have to play the overprotective best friends card with Matsukawa.

And judging by the way Matsukawa talks to you with such familiarity, you two already have some sort chemistry together.

So why does his chest hurt so much right now? He feels like it’s getting harder to breathe, and his stomach is practically twisting inside out.

Based on all those facts, he should be happy if you wanted to be with Matsukawa. So why does he feel so disappointed?

He knew body swapping with you was going to be a nightmare, but he didn’t anticipate this abrupt self reflection. He didn’t think he’d begin to place the anger he felt when random men approached you, or that fuzzy feeling every time you were alone together, the warmth when you so much as smiled at him. 

He always chalked up any attraction for you as momentary, his body’s confusion, but its always been you. He hadn’t felt that attraction for anyone else, and it’s all starting to click into place now. You fit so perfectly in his heart, so comfortably at his side, he’s shocked it took this long to understand all those feelings. 

Hajime slumps against the wall, hanging his head between his knees as he recalls the conversation with Matsukawa moments ago. He instantly feels a hot itch and fiery blush creep up, stirring with his dread rather unpleasantly. 

_‘So what if you like her, does she even like you?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone who's been leaving kudos thanks for the love♡ ♡ ♡ as well as the few of you that commented afkslg thank you, I love hearing your thoughts!


	6. Regarding the Matsukawa Incident

“Hajime, let’s walk together without Tooru.”

You hear a voice call out to you the second you step out of the gym. The abrupt call startles you when you register it’s your own voice—it feels a tad cryptic, considering you’re still not used to hearing it unless it’s coming from you. 

Hajime is glancing around, keeping his voice low, clearly wary of any prying ears or casual listeners. 

“Huh? Yeah, alright.”

You jog up to his side, exiting the school grounds with him. A worry creeps in your gut, but you push it aside to hear what he has to say first. No use getting anxious when he hasn’t even said anything yet.

It’s interesting, your strides are much longer than you’re used to, so you have to actively think about matching your pace with Hajime’s currently shorter legs _(you hate to call your legs short, but there is an obvious comparison)_. 

It’s something you never worried about before, considering you were always the one surrounded by long-legged bastards, but it has you thinking that Hajime must’ve always consciously walked in step with you. Even Tooru tended to take long strides _(as if he were the main character in an anime, leading the way for the extras)_. 

You try to quell the metaphorical butterflies that are making themselves at home inside your ribcage, but it’s rapidly replacing the anxiety that was stirring from Hajime’s abrupt request. 

You’re supposed to be serious right now. You can’t be caught up with how sweet and caring Hajime is, even though he doesn’t voice it and generally has an attitude that needs minor adjustment, but you’re constantly reminded every day how his love language is more about acts of service and silent gestures with no intent for acknowledgement and—

“What’s up?”

You say with as much nonchalance as you can muster, it’s best to cut that train of thought off, especially when said train is being directed by Iwaizumi Hajime—not only filling your brain but the space directly next to you. 

You can only assume there’s something pressing he wanted to talk about, maybe practice, judging by his sour expression. Not that he doesn’t always have that expression, but lately he’s been more conscious of the faces he makes in your body. There must be something gnawing at him to let that slip. 

But if you’re being completely honest, you’d rather not think about practice after the shit show of a performance you had earlier. 

“Something…” he pauses, not quite sure how to phrase it, “weird, happened. And I really don’t want to talk about it, but you should know.”

Hajime looks highly agitated, and very uncomfortable. He’s refusing to meet you in the eye, not particularly focused on anything but the air to his right. He’s struggling to find a way to busy his hands, crossed over his chest—nope not that again– shoving them in his track pants pockets, before deciding to whole up in his jacket pockets.

You think about what could possibly make him that level of awkward, but only one thing comes to mind,

“You didn’t start your period, did you?”

“WHA- WHAT? NO, _no,_ fuck,”

Hajime’s eyes blow wide when you unintentionally remind him about the existence of said bodily function. Is that something he’s going to have to worry about? He needs out of this body, _stat._

“Good, cause I just ended, so if you started that would’ve been a little worrying.”

You can’t help but laugh at his reaction, and he grimaces, red hue dusting his cheeks, he’s clearly perturbed by the information and realization that was just forced upon him. 

“Good to know. Hopefully we’ll swap before the next... one...”

You roll your eyes, but can’t exactly blame him for his discomfort. As much as you’d like a man to physically endure and comprehend the plight of women, you also hope you’ll be able to switch soon. 

Besides, that's something best cursed upon someone bad mannered, like Tooru. 

It does succeed in reminding you that you and Hajime should put your nose to the grind, if it wasn’t urgent before it’s imperative now that you figure out ways that could possibly switch you back. 

Hajime clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck, snapping you back to his current dilemma, 

“Someone asked you out.”

You blink at the information, that’s what he wanted to talk about? You’ll certainly take that over talking about your shit show of a practice tonight. 

“Whaaaat? Again? Jeeeez, I guess I’m just popular today.”

You stick your tongue out with a giggle, sounding extremely misplaced with his voice. 

Surprisingly, he doesn’t reprimand you for it, and it makes you tick a brow in curiosity. 

“...so uh, did you shoot ‘em down? Finally understanding some of the struggles that women go through, huh?”

You attempt to laugh off the unpleasant aura that’s starting to hang thick in the air.

“Not exactly. I said I’d text him, I wasn’t sure what your answer would be.”

At that, you freeze, turning back to stare at him in shock. 

“What? You actually considered my feelings instead of shoving a boy out of my life?”

You halt your steps to turn and grip Hajime by the shoulders, faux tears threatening to spring up and burst any minute. You gaze at him with all of the awe of a proud mother seeing her child matured and all grown up. 

“Don’t say it like that! And knock that look off my face, before I do it myself,” he sounds as gruff as he can with a feminine tone, “and of course I care about your feelings! The men that like you are just shit.”

He turns his nose up derisively.

Hajime always figured that was the case, at least, that no man was good enough for his best friend, and the ones that liked you wouldn’t know what to do with you. All that ambition, attitude, spark, with a tendency for being too kind and too caring. What could a high school boy who dicks around in the back of the classroom ever put forward in a relationship with you?

But it seems he was a bit misconstrued. While he’s positive he marked those boys right, there may have been a little jealousy at play he was never made aware of until recent events _(in other words, the Matsukawa Incident–he’ll refer to said event as such now)_. 

Hajime unintentionally acted with his own self interest, driving away any boy that made eyes at you, and hid behind his self-proclaimed _‘protective best friend’_ title, told himself it was fine, because Oikawa was doing the same—they both knew what was best for their friend. 

As if you couldn’t decide for yourself. 

Hajime clenches jaw, he should’ve known something was off with him the moment he started going along with Oikawa’s antics. 

He doesn’t feel particularly bad or regretful about driving away those glaringly transparent guys, but he does feel a pang of guilt for having done it without your say in the matter.

“Well, thanks, I guess. But who are you talking about anyways, I’m dying to know who’s won Hajime’s stamp of approval.”

You look at him with curiosity brimming from tip to toe, and a deep frown tugs at the corners of his lips, the dread and anxiety he felt before coming back full force. Now that he’s placed the feelings he has for you, it’s demoralizing to see you interested in other men.

“It was Matsukawa,”

Now Matsukawa was different. 

Hajime knew him personally, and considered him a close friend. They often spent free time together, had lunch together. They of course played volleyball together, and judging from that alone Hajime could tell that Matsukawa was a man with talent, passion, and drive. He was good natured, and Hajime is positive he’d treat you with the respect you deserved.

“He was the one that asked you out.”

Your eyes widen at the information, and Hajime feels his shoulders tense. Is that excitement? What will you have to say about that? 

Well, if you like Matsukawa, Hajime will just have to deal with it. 

He easily turned away other boys and suitors, but the fact that it’s Matsukawa changes everything, it’s thrown a fat wrench in his love life _(if he can even call your relationship that, he’s starkly aware you’ve always been ‘just friends’, and the Matsukawa Incident isn’t exactly helping any)_.

Hajime knows Matsukawa can make you happy, there’s no reason to stick his nose into that. 

When you’re out of this body swap situation, Hajime will just have to support you from the sidelines. But even then, as your best friend, he has to be with you every step of the way. 

Your solo time with Hajime will practically become non-existent if you get yourself a boyfriend. No more movie nights with the two of you, passed out on the couch before the halfway point, no more casual dinner dates, no more coming to each other’s houses at ungodly hours because the other person is only seconds away. 

Hajime guesses he could still have all those things, but with the addition of Matsukawa–that thought sits bitter in his mind. And Hajime loves his friend more dearly than he cares to admit, and loves you more than he thought he did, but his heart breaks at the thought of the two of you together. 

“Mattsun?”

His spiraling train of thought is dashed the second you burst out into a boisterous laugh, something Hajime wasn’t expecting. 

“He’s such a flirt. You should’ve just brushed him off!”

Hajime states in his bafflement. Matsukawa, a flirt? He thought that was just in the moment. What are you talking about? You’re talking about the same Matsukawa, right?

“What? I didn’t know if you liked him or not, I couldn’t say no!”

His face heats with a scowl as he attempts to defend himself, Hajime is in disbelief he let that get to him so much.

“Oh no, you didn’t get all awkward did you? Now he’s gonna think I have a crush on him.”

You huff, and Hajime grows more confused by the second. 

“Is that such a bad thing?”

And now he feels the need to defend poor Matsukawa’s honor, though he won’t deny the feeling of relief washing away his anxiety like a massive ocean wake. It’s as if the salt water is mending the dull cracks that started chipping at his heart, your full smile and animated laugh uplifting him.

“Not really, I guess. But he flirts too much, and I always put him in his place! But now that you’ve gone all doe-eyed school girl on him, he’s gonna think his charm or whatever worked.”

You click your tongue, and Hajime bristles, how could he forget about how bad your personality could be? Any time he finds himself in awe over you, it’s always short lived. 

“I did _not_ go _‘school girl’_ on him, I was confused the entire time! I didn’t even know he was flirting with me at first!”

He rants, seemingly back to himself, and you bite your laughter at the outburst. 

“I’m sorry you had to experience that, Hajime.”

“One of my best friends and teammates... was _flirting with me_.”

“Technically, me.”

“I can’t look at him the same way.”

“If you want, I’ll let you go on the date. But when I’m back in my body, I’m cutting that off.”

Hajime sends you a look that sends a chill down your spine, vibrating from the intensity of it. 

“Kidding, Hajime, kidding!”

You put your hands up in defense and Hajime grunts, decidedly not beating your ass, fortunately.

Though, Hajime does feel a swell of happiness at the fact that you don’t seem interested in Matsukawa. 

“I guess I should let you know...” you pause and Hajime hums in acknowledgement, “make sure to turn everyone down for me.”

Hajime blinks at your request, and attempts to not sound so desperate and eager when he speaks, 

“Uh, sure. Everyone? ‘don’t have anyone you like?”

He figures he’s pushing his luck with that one, but he wants to know the answer, even if he’s shooting in the dark. 

“No, not interested in anyone in our classes, or your teammates, for that matter.”

You clarify, and he awkwardly glances away at the pointed comment. 

“Right. I can do that,” he glances to you before continuing, “the same goes for me.”

“You already told me that!”

“You need a reminder. I don’t want a random girlfriend I’m not interested in when I’m back in my body, okay?!”

And the reminder was so good to hear, you’re happy Hajime doesn’t have an interest in anyone, even if that gives you the smallest chance.

“Okayyy, okay!”

You laugh, and he hides the way his lips turn up into a smile.

“Now let’s go to my place, we have to do more research on our situation.”

You walk alongside Hajime, ignoring your buzzing pocket, no doubt Tooru. You can’t exactly have him crashing your research sessions, so you decide to come up with an excuse for later. 

♡ ♡ ♡

Days in a row you’ve done research with no concise evidence or method of solving your body swap, you’re starting to feel disheartened by the situation, but at least the weekend is starting.

Even if it’s nearly impossible to come up with anything helpful, you’ll be able to research more and not worry about putting up a front at school or with yours and Hajime’s teammates. 

“We don’t even know where to start! This shouldn’t even be possible!”

The research Hajime has also done leads to zero results, of course. And both your frustrations are piled as high as the plushies and extra pillows Hajime threw off your bed.

You flop onto your back, said extra pillows and plushies cushioning your fall. You’re surprised Hajime left some of them on the bed, it seems he had discarded a majority of them. 

You can’t believe it, Mr. Tubbs, the big stuffed cat Tooru gifted you years ago, cast aside, face down on the carpet. 

If you weren’t so frustrated by your research developments _(or lack of)_ , you’d be amused that the only plushes with bed privilege were the ones Hajime won for you at fairs, or gifted you in the past. 

“There’s no legitimate research, for obvious reasons, and most of it is just stories or movies.”

Hajime sighs, browsing through tabs on your laptop. 

“Are we just going to have to wait?” You bite your tongue, “Hajime, what if we’re just stuck like this?”

The sharp look Hajime sends you makes you freeze up. 

“Don’t talk like that. We’ll figure something out.”

He says it so resolutely that it makes you believe him, or at least want to believe in him. And you have no shortage of belief in Hajime’s abilities–if he’s confident you’ll get through this, then you will get through this. 

“If you say so, I’ll believe you. Sorry, Hajime.”

He hums at your response, eyeing you carefully as you continue to scroll on your phone through a rabbit’s hole of mysterious threads, and cryptic posts. 

Your phone pings with messages from Tooru, the buzz startling you out of an odd Reddit thread that seemed more like a troll or a work of fiction than anything. 

The message(s) are in all caps, and you swipe them out as they come up rapidly. You’ll have to think of yet another excuse to give him later, but you’re running out of ideas. 

It was suspicious enough as it is that both you and Hajime had a dentist appointment in the same week–Tooru not-so-kindly pointed out that dentist offices were closed after your school’s hours, and it didn’t help that Hajime made the same excuse a day after you.

The both of you were even forced to skip out on your monthly movie night together, and you and Hajime can only claim to be sick for the night so many times.

You don’t intend to, but you wind up forgetting to message Tooru back that night. 

The stress is stacked high, everything feels personally against you, and you’re too overwrought to focus on anything other than yours and Hajime’s body swap, let alone school, and especially volleyball practice. Which, is increasingly making Tooru more insufferable than usual. 

Swiping out of yet another cryptic site, you briefly worry about what viruses that could’ve creeped onto your phone before searching again. 

Mr. Tubbs making an excellent cushion, you roll onto your side as you scroll away.


	7. Potions

Hajime nearly chokes, wiping the ‘potion’ dribbling down his jawline, he presses the back of his hand to his mouth in an attempt to keep the disgusting concoction from exiting his gut. 

“...How was it?”

You try to pat his back sympathetically _(he’s gagging now)_ , but you’re the one that insisted he try the mystery remedy first, and you cautiously pull your hand away as he shoots you the most menacing glare he can while he’s coughing into his palm. 

“It was made with weird mushrooms and fucking plants, how do you think it tastes?”

Terrible, you guess. And the effects were supposed to be instantaneous, according to a recipe dropped in one of the posts you found… not that you expected it to work. 

“Ahh, and nothing happened.”

You rub your jaw semi-thoughtfully, before catching the look on Hajime’s face. 

“Uh, Hajime?”

His expression is glaring, not unlike someone scheming for revenge. But that’s silly, Hajime wouldn’t blame you for the potion not working, right?

“It probably didn’t work because you didn’t try it with me.”

It seems he would, realization sets in as Hajime closes in on you, and you panic,

“I think it didn’t work because it was someone bullshitting!”

“Don’t you want to swap back? Just drink it!”

“You’re just mad, get away from me!”

You trip on your feet, stumbling into the kitchen table. It scrapes the tile as your hands clutch for purchase on anything that’ll help you get you away from the madman behind you, but the tablecloth you’ve grasped at isn’t much help seeing as you swipe it off the table entirely. You’d be impressed that all the plates and the flower-filled vase stayed perfectly set on the table from your impromptu magic trick, if it weren’t for Hajime assaulting you.

You cry out as if you’re being brutally attacked _(you are, technically–just with plant juice)_ , and Hajime takes you by the jaw and tilts a cup of the swirling cocktail to your lips, sloshing rather unappetizingly in the glass. If the thing had an aura, it’d have a thick gray cloud fuming from it. 

“And why would I be mad?”

“Because I made you drink a potion I found on a weird thread even though it was totally suspicious and completely untrustworthy!”

You confess to your sins, the thread was actually some sort of troll that promised the reader would swap bodies with their favorite celebrity, and you cast it aside for the likelihood of that never happening, it was probably a scam to get some gullible teens to drink essentially dirt.

And you admit that initially you thought it would be funny to prank Hajime, jotting down the recipe and conveniently leaving out the celebrity bit, but in your excitement to scheme you forgot Hajime doesn’t take too well to pranks at his expense. 

Not without retribution at least, and you find yourself grappling at his wrists, attempting to turn your head away from the glass.

He eyes you with a too eager grin,

“You should try it, really, it might work.”

♡ ♡ ♡

It didn’t. 

It was disgusting. 

You have learned your lesson not to trifle with Hajime, and you're no closer to finding a solution to your problem. 

You slump onto the kitchen table, feeling especially abused and violated by the plant paste you regretfully crafted. 

“That’s number one on the list, what’s next?”

Hajime rests his elbow on the table, chin in palm as he scrolls on his phone. 

“Bonk our heads together so hard we pass out and hopefully wake up in our own bodies?”

You suggest. Who knows, it could actually work.

“No thanks, I’d rather not wake up the same way but with a concussion.”

The second Hajime turns down your cartoonish suggestion, his phone lights up and buzzes, signifying a call.

You glance at his phone, “Tooru’s calling you?”

“Fuck. I’ll just ignore it,”

The moment he sets his phone aside, the kitchen door bursts open, presenting none other than Oikawa Tooru, entirely expected given the situation and the fact that Hajime’s parents are still at work. 

“Tooru?!”

You blink in surprise, and Tooru frowns at the sight of the two of you together. 

“I _knew_ you were ignoring me!”

“What the fuck Shittykawa, who said you could come over?”

Hajime grimaces, forgetting to stay true to your personality in his surprise. Tooru’s brow ticks at the catty response to his entrance. 

“I see you’ve been spending too much time with Iwa-chan, using his terrible nicknames! I didn’t think you’d ever use it on me either, but here we are!”

He folds his arms across his chest, and Hajime covers his mouth.

Shit, he let that one slip in his initial shock. 

“Besides, this is Iwa-chan’s house, and I say I _can_ come over! You two have been ignoring me all week and coming up with the shittiest excuses—”

“Oikawa—”

“No, let me finish!”

He huffs, looking more serious than you’ve seen him outside the court. Judging by his posture and the worry in his brows, you can tell he’s been stressing himself lately. You bite your cheek, knowing full well you and Hajime were the root of the cause.

 _“Both_ of you have to go to the dentist when the office is closed, _really?_ Iwa-chan studying for a test that’s not for another week, _please!_ Give me a break. Not to mention, every practice you play like shit Iwa-chan,”

It’s not shit, you’re just not Hajime’s usual, because you’re not fucking Hajime. You want to argue, defend yourself and Hajime, but you keep your lips sealed. 

“You act like a total weirdo, you hardly talk to your own teammates and friends, and _you–_ ”

He turns to Hajime, technically you, scowl ever present. 

“You always run off with him after school! And don’t even pretend like you’re not having lunch with him too, Kunimi-chan saw you eating alone together by the art building–ditching me, yeah?”

He’s fuming, and his hair is moving in every direction accompanying his wild, frantic gestures. 

The guilt starts piling, and you’re starting to regret yours and Hajime’s way of handling the situation. 

To avoid uncomfortable situations and messing up, you thought the best method was to steer clear from everyone entirely. 

Clearly that’s backfiring, but it’s too late to erase those actions now. 

“Not only have you two spent all week lying to me, you’ve been completely ignoring my calls and texts all weekend too!”

Tooru pauses, rant seemingly over, but neither you or Hajime feel inclined to speak yet, too caught off guard by the outburst, and unsure of what you can say to remedy the situation. 

Tooru drops his arms at his sides, glancing away from the two of you, biting his lip. Your shoulders tense when you feel the atmosphere around him drop significantly.

“Are you guys mad at me?”

Oh. 

_Oh fuck._

_You forgot he had feelings._

“Oikawa, it’s not that, I swear.”

You speak first, and Tooru looks to you with an expression that almost breaks your heart right there. Brown eyes glossy, lips in a thin line as if he’s trying to keep them from turning down into a frown, he looks genuinely displeased.

“Are you just sick of me? Are you tired of hanging out with me? I know I’m an asshole sometimes, but if it makes you guys that upset I can stop, I’ll be better.” 

In any other context you may quip with a _‘you could stop this whole time?’,_ but the joke wouldn’t sit right, and Tooru looks entirely too on edge, fingers tapping at his sides restlessly. 

Tooru’s always been the type to stay true to himself, unabashedly and unapologetically. He knows he’s flawed, has learned to accept his shortcomings as a person. But here he is before you and Hajime, willing to cast aside his pride for the sake of your friendship. It only serves to guilt you more, considering it’s based upon the lies you’ve built up.

“I promise we’re not sick of you, we just… had something come up that we had to deal with. It’s been really stressful, I’m sorry.”

You don’t particularly care if it’s too out of character, it’s what Tooru needs to hear. 

Risking a glance at Hajime, you see he’s shaking his leg and biting his lip, a few of his nervous tics, he’s contemplating something heavily. 

“And you can’t tell me? You always tell me when something is wrong.”

Tooru eyes you suspiciously, and it’s true, usually you can tell Tooru anything. But this isn’t something believable, and you and Hajime both decided it’s best kept a secret. 

“We can’t, but it’s nothing you did. Don’t worry about it, we’ll start hanging out soon, like we used to, we just have to deal with this ourselves.”

And you hope you’ll be able to, it’d be nice to go back to normal. You did miss movie nights with Tooru and Hajime, and you miss having lunch together on the rooftop. 

Tooru thinks for a moment, you see the gears turning in his head, eyes focused. He glances to Hajime, who hasn’t said a word the entire time, still tense on the other side of the table. 

Tooru’s contemplative gaze flicks to you, as if he’s had some sort of revelation. 

“Did you get her pregnant?”

WHA— _THAT’S HIS REVELATION?_

“You asshole, shut up!”

Hajime’s choice first words. 

“What?! No, _no,_ fuck no!”

You blush heavily at his wild accusation, and Tooru looks visibly relieved. 

“Oh, thank god. It wouldn’t have been a bad thing, necessarily, and I always kind of expected it, but this is just too soon.”

He laughs airily, as if he doesn’t feel the weight of his words like you do, heavy on your heart. Does everyone have that assumption? That you and Hajime would one day be together like that?

“We’re not even dating, idiot.”

Ouch. Hajime’s adamant refusal jabs at you, and you try to ignore the ache that claws at your chest. That may have stung a bit, but you certainly won’t admit it out loud.

“Yeah, yeah. I just couldn’t think of any other reason you’d be ignoring me like that.”

“It’s ‘cause we swapped bodies.”

You whip your head to Hajime, physically ripped from your disappointment, too shocked he’d blab the truth to Tooru and expect a reasonable outcome from it.

“Hah. Hah.”

Tooru doesn’t even entertain the explanation, arms crossed and eyes disinterested, accompanying the dry laugh well.

“It’s true.”

You hope Hajime knows what he’s doing. 

“Funny, and I didn’t think you’d be in on it Iwa-chan, looking so surprised like that.”

Tooru doesn’t even look skeptical, or remotely fazed, as if he doesn’t want to be tricked into falling for something so blatantly stupid. 

And normally, he’d be right to, but in this case, you and Hajime were unfortunately _not kidding._

“I just didn’t think Hajime would openly admit that without talking to me first.”

You shoot a glance at Hajime, as if to convey _‘I hope you know what you’re doing’,_ but he merely shrugs in response. 

“And you’re a real prankster today too. What’s gotten into you guys? Seriously, are you mad at me?”

Tooru is starting to look a little peeved, visibly doubting your words of encouragement from earlier. 

“We’re not mad. We switched places. We woke up last Sunday in each other’s bodies. That’s why we haven’t been ourselves, and that’s why we’ve been avoiding everyone.”

Hajime continues with his explanation, as if Tooru would be any closer to believing it.

Which he isn’t. 

“That’s not even possible, but fine, I’ll play along. You’re Iwa-chan, supposedly. What’s something that only he would know?”

Tooru crosses his arms smugly, staring at your body, who is ‘supposedly’ Hajime, as if he’s got you two in checkmate. 

This can’t be good for Tooru, but it’s definitely going to be good for you if you’re getting in on a secret. 

“Alright. You swore me to secrecy for this one,” Hajime doesn’t hesitate for one second, “that time at the volleyball banquet last year you saw a girl with a ‘nice ass’ in a ‘super mega tight dress’ and wanted to hit on her, but when you tapped her shoulder, she turned around and it was actually Y/N–”

Now this is very interesting news to you. 

“H-HEY, STOP TALKING–” 

Hajime side steps Tooru’s attempt to cover his mouth,

“And you pre-gamed before the event so you drunkenly admitted to me that you’d still tap that but she’s practically your sister and that’s gross but her ass looked so–”

“I get it okay! How do I know you’re not just fucking with me and broke the secret pact we made?!”

Tooru cuts Hajime off and glares at you, but you’re giving him the widest, shit-eating grin. 

“I knew that dress looked good.”

“Enough games already!”

“What about the time in elementary school where you and I went to a volleyball match and you had to–”

“ENOUGH, _enough,_ I believe you, okay!”

Tooru relents, red-faced and practically sweating from his nervous panic. 

“I wanna know about the time in elementary school where you and Hajime went to a volleyball match and something happened.”

You put your hand up, wanting to know the juicy details. You thought you and Tooru told each other everything, but apparently there’s some missing gaps in that _‘everything’_ , and you’re very eager to learn. 

“We made a friendship promise and he swore me not to tell anyone but because of the circumstances, he had to—” 

“I said I believed you already, stop trying to out me!”

Tooru cuts Hajime off at the best part, every time. 

He taps his foot with a huff, bottom lip twitching into a frown. Hajime gives him a smug look, staring back combatively, as if Tooru will attempt to call out bullshit again _(he won’t)._

You’ll have to remember to ask Hajime about the middle school incident at a later date, but right now, 

“I’m sorry we kept this from you, and sorry I kept ignoring your calls, Tooru. We didn’t know what to do.”

You interrupt their staring contest, wrapping your arms around Tooru in a tight hug. You’re the tallest you’ve ever been, and it’s weird to hug him when you aren’t yourself, but you missed your best friend. 

“Uh…”

Tooru awkwardly pats your back,

“I was kind of lying before because I thought you guys were trying to shame and humiliate me, but this is really weird and I actually might believe you now.”

“Asshole, that’s all it took?! And stop hugging him like that, it's freaking me out!”

Hajime slaps Tooru on the back, yanking you by the back of your shirt to pull you from the hug. 

He grumbles something indecipherable under his breath, contemplating whether he should even say anything, 

“I’m sorry too. I guess.”

He gives Tooru an awkward, much gentler slap on the back, before slinging his arm around Tooru in some sort of half-hug gesture.

“I-Iwa-chan! It really is you in there!”

Oikawa’s fake tears spring to life as he bends down to wrap Hajime in a hug, who struggles like a cat wanting to be released. 

“Get off me!”

Tooru pulls back, wiping a tear from his long lashes, 

“I’m still really upset right now, I really thought you guys hated me! So if you could please shower me with adoration, that’d be lovely.”

Tooru spreads out his arms, a pathetic expression on his face that Hajime doesn’t buy for one second. 

“Tooru! I love you! You’re the best Tooru, your jump serves are great! Your setting is unmatched! You’re my bestest friend!”

You cheer him on, Hajime is balking that you’d even entertain the idea of doing that in his body, let alone acting on it, but Tooru eats it up with gleaming eyes. 

“Quit feeding his ego!”

It’s your turn to be scolded by Hajime, but you just stick your tongue out at him sheepishly. 

“He deserves it?”

“He didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly! He didn’t do anything, and we were being bad friends.”

“I’m on your side,”

Tooru slings an arm around your shoulder and gazes down at Hajime, who’s more aggravated now than when he was drinking straight plant paste. 

It hadn’t bothered him too much initially, but having to crane his neck up to glare at Tooru is sparking some caveman urge deep inside Hajime to absolutely throttle him.

“Out. Get out of my house.”

 _“Technically_ , this isn’t your house–OW, Iwa-chan, that still hurts!”

“Newsflash Asshole-kawa, girls can hit too!”

They can, and you let Hajime prove his point. 

♡ ♡ ♡

“So,”

“If it’s something about aliens, I don’t want to hear it.”

You interrupt Tooru before he can spew something definitely about aliens.

“I wasn’t going to bring up aliens–though it’s a very valid cause you definitely need to consider. I was _actually_ going to ask if you have any idea how long you’re gonna be like this?”

You give Tooru a tired look, and Hajime just ignores him entirely, tired of glaring no doubt. 

Tooru’s been lazing around, attempting to ‘help’ you and Hajime, but you doubt he’s accomplished anything aside from scrolling through the same threads you’ve looked through. You’re willing to bet he researched for a minute or two before losing interest, abandoning the task in favor of looking through Karasuno’s and Shiratorizawa’s match history.

“If we knew, we’d tell you.”

You respond, since it seems Hajime isn’t interested in replying.

“Ooh, that reminds me,” Tooru props his elbows up on the couch, pausing whatever volleyball match he was watching to drop his phone on his chest, “I saw this foreign family comedy once where the mom and her daughter swapped places, but they had to show each other selfless love and understand what the other goes through to swap back.” 

Tooru gasps in additional realization before turning to Hajime, “Iwa-chan, are you her mom?”

The look Hajime gives Tooru is enough to put him in a grave and send secondhand chills down your spine. 

“Sorry, sorry, don’t hit me again! Your hands are pointy and jabby now, it’s hard to get used to.”

Ignoring that, 

“Hajime and I already understand each other, we have to put up with you all day.”

“True,” Tooru is completely unbothered by that comment, “I did see a romcom where the two main characters had to kiss at the end, they ended up swapping places like that.”

You don’t like that he casually suggests this with such an innocent look on his features.

“That sounds stupid, watch better movies.”

Hajime grunts out, and you’ll admit that kissing Hajime would be nice, but under normal circumstances preferably. You don’t particularly want to kiss yourself as Hajime. 

“I appreciate all your knowledge in films that have body swaps in them Tooru, but this isn’t a romcom, or a movie.”

You sigh, and Tooru hums thoughtfully. 

“Sure, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

He sits upright with ease, sliding off the couch and pocketing his phone, 

“Anyways, I’ve got more practice to do. I’ll try not to be too hard on you tomorrow, now that I know you’ve swapped with that brute over there. Ciao!”

Tooru ducks out of the living room and out the Iwaizumi household before Hajime can assault him, and good thing, he probably would’ve had some bruises from your _‘jabby’_ and _‘pointy’_ hands. 

With Tooru’s quick escape, you’re left contemplating whether that suggestion would actually work or not, risking glances to Hajime across the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not me ending a chapter on a juicy bit again afjknddm, anyways im posting this at an ungodly time but i hope everyone enjoys!  
> as always, I'd love to hear thoughts on this :) thanks for reading!


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